If Lew Alcindor Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the founding father of the sky hook, and Scarlet Jo, the women who made Bill Murray relevant again, think we can, we must be able to.
-John
john@addictedtowords.com
No Har Rai, not shredding the Gnar Gnar. Just shredding papers…
John Cook of Radar Online reports:
“Behold, the Bush Administration in chart form: Federal spending on paper shredding has increased more than 600 percent since George W. Bush took office. This chart, generated by usaspending.gov, the U.S. government’s brand spanking new database of federal expenditures, shows spending on “contracts for paper shredding services” going back to 2000. Click here for the full, heartbreaking breakdown. In 2000, the feds spent $452,807 to make unpleasant truths go away; by 2006, the “Cheney Effect” had bumped that number up to $2.9 million. And by halfway through 2007, the feds almost matched that number, with $2.7 million and counting. Pretty much says it all.”
Yeah you read that right. Millions of dollars to shred paper. Those are either some seriously expensive paper shredders or just a ridiculous amount of man hours spent shredding. Thanks again, George.
-John
I don’t think child molestation is funny, and I suppose it’s good that the church is doing something about it, but this ranks very high on the unintentional comedy scale.
From Breitbart.com (by the way this is real, not satirical):
“New York’s Roman Catholic Church is trying a novel approach to alert children to the danger of being sexually assaulted by a priest, with an abuse-themed coloring book, officials said Tuesday.”
The coloring book is called “Being Safe, Being Friends, Being Catholic,” which I guess means I have to change the name of my memoirs.
-John
You know I can’t pass up the chance to write about Mitt Romney! Not only do I love to poke the old dog, but he makes it easy by continually showing up in the weirdest news stories. First he was being a jerk to the disabled kid, then he was linked to communism, then he mixed up Barack Obama with the guy who was behind 9/11, and now this.
If anybody still thinks Mitt Romney would be a good president, I have irrefutable proof that he would not be. Michael Scherer of Salon.com has a story about one of the weirder sounding guys I have ever heard of, who thinks it’s a bad idea to vote for Mitt. This guy is a conservative Christian and seems like he would be right in Mitt’s wheelhouse, yet he says “A vote for Romey, is a vote for Satan.” Which might be a little harsh, for instance, Mitt Romney thinks abortion should be illegal in all cases except for incest or rape, and Satan would probably be advocating abortion and maybe even performing some himself. Nevertheless, saying voting for Mitt Romney is like voting for Satan illustrates this man’s point quite well.
This man that is calling out Mitt Romney, his name is Bill Keller, let’s take a moment and go over the things I learned about him from this article that illustrate how weird he seems:
Let me ask you this, do these seem like the actions of a sane man? He may be onto something about Oprah,* but other than that this guy seems like he is absolutely off his rocker. So here is this nuts religious Christian evangelist (who is square in the crosshairs of Romney’s target audience) telling you NOT to vote for Mitt Romney. This is akin to a Texas oil tycoon saying that a vote for George W. Bush is a vote for hybrid cars.** This guy’s vote should be a Mark Price free throw for Romney, but he simply cannot get it. And not only can he not win this crazy Keller guy over, he managed to completely send him in the other direction. Again, Keller says that “a vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for Satan.” I might add that Keller also says if you vote for Mitt you will die and go to hell: “He would influence people to seek out the Mormon faith. They would get sucked into those lies and go to hell.” This statement is weird because first it seems to contradict his first statement about a vote for Romney being a vote for Satan, because I imagine if you voted for Satan he would take it easy on you and maybe not send you to hell. Second, I think the Mormon faith has a lot of holes in it’s logic, but last time I checked it doesn’t make you die. We all eventually die, no matter what our religion.*** Keller is all over the map here, but he is certain of one thing, and that is that he will not vote for Mitt Romney. And I find that hilarious.
*Totally kidding.
**Which in a weird way it might be, as all this Iraq stuff is driving up the price of oil, which leads to more hybrid cars in production and on the road. The point is though, the Texas oil Tycoon hates hybrid cars, he would never say that.
***Except for possibly Marguerite Friend Martin.
-John
I didn’t think it was possible, but I found something scarier than that werewolf costume. It’s beyond frightening to think about how much creeping around and secret stuff our government does, and it turns out they do a lot of it. According to our government, there are more than 755,000 possible terrorists in the US. Yep, more than 755,000 people somehow ended up on the terrorist watch list.
Today in the USA Today, as reported by Mimi Hall:
WASHINGTON — The government’s terrorist watch list has swelled to more than 755,000 names, according to a new government report that has raised worries about the list’s effectiveness.
The size of the list, typically used to check people entering the country through land border crossings, airports and sea ports, has been growing by 200,000 names a year since 2004. Some lawmakers, security experts and civil rights advocates warn that it will become useless if it includes too many people.“It undermines the authority of the list,” says Lisa Graves of the Center for National Security Studies. “There’s just no rational, reasonable estimate that there’s anywhere close to that many suspected terrorists.”
We live in such a culture of fear. It’s absurd. I can only imagine what little you have to do to get on this list. Coming back into the US and getting on a plane after Semester at Sea last year, I forgot I had a lighter I bought in Vietnam in my carry on baggage. The X-Ray machine picked it up and there was a mini ordeal. It was understandable though, I just explained I forgot about it. They made me throw out the innards of the lighter, I got to keep the case, which was the cool part. I felt like they handled it well at the airport, but was that enough to get me on the terrorist watch list? Am I being monitored? Do they listen in on my calls and keep an eye on my internet usage? That is seriously frightening.
And the more people get on the list, the more useless it becomes, and the harder it becomes to figure out who to actually track. Are people really monitoring all 755,000 people all the time? Maybe they are, which is even scarier. Also, keep in mind this is only people in the US, imagine how many more people outside of the US our government has their eye on. It’s just really scary
At this rate, around this time next year we will pass 1,000,000. A million!
-John
Here we go again, this is seriously becoming the Mitt Romney blog. Apparently I really like poking fun at Mitt Romney, but it’s too easy! He continues to prove himself more and more incompetent. He’s like the Isiah Thomas of presidential hopefuls. Romney twice mixed up terrorist Osama Bin Laden and presidential hopeful Barack Obama in a speech before the Chamber of Commerce. Michael Luo of the New York Times reports:
GREENWOOD, S.C. — Mitt Romney might have still been a bit bleary-eyed this morning when he twice confused Senator Barack Obama with Osama bin Laden when referring to the latter’s new recorded message.
…
“I think that is a position which is not consistent with the fact,” Mr. Romney said. “Actually, just look at what Osam — uh — Barack Obama, said just yesterday. Barack Obama calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq. That is the battlefield. That is the central place, he said. Come join us under one banner.”
The comment set off some confusion among the press corps. Glen Johnson of the Associated Press was momentarily frantically searching for comments made by Mr. Obama, another Democratic presidential contender, about jihadism and Iraq.
It turns out, of course, Mr. Romney was talking about the new audiotape from bin Laden calling on insurgents in Iraq to unite.
Oops.
I realize that Osama and Obama sound similiar, but he didn’t just mix up a “s” with an “m” there, he used Barack Obama’s full name after beginning to say Osama. Then he used Barack Obama’s full name again. Best of all, he says Obama has been talking calling for Jihad. These guys are polar opposites, king terrorist and presidential contender, I think it’s kind of important to get them straight.
I really enjoyed the response from Obama’s camp, from the same article:
And Bill Burton for the Obama campaign sent this response, when asked for comment:
“Apparently, Mitt Romney can switch names just as casually as he
switches positions, but what’s wrong-headed is continuing a misguided war in Iraq that has left America less safe. It’s time to end the divisiveness and fear-mongering that is at the heart of Governor
Romney’s campaign.”
Then, Barack himself gives a pretty great response to all this:
“I don’t pay too much attention to Mitt Romney,” Mr. Obama said.
Apparently I pay enough attention to Mitt Romney for the both of us. At this rate, expect 10 more Mitt Romney related blog entries before the month is out! Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney.
-John
This is just great, just what we needed to further endear the world to us. Bush warns of “World War III” if Iran goes nuclear, Brian Knowlton of the New York Times reports:
“If Iran had a nuclear weapon, it’d be a dangerous threat to world peace,” Mr. Bush said. “So I told people that if you’re interested in avoiding World War III, it seems like you ought to be interested in preventing them from having the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon.”
First of all, the “knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon” is not hard to come by, so I assume he means preventing them from getting the actual weapons. Second, I see why nobody wants Iran to have nuclear weapons. I would argue that nobody should have nuclear weapons, but mentioning some kind of “World War III” as an outcome of that, is just terrible terrible judgment. Threatening or bringing up “World War III” as a consequence to anything is terrible judgment! Do I even need to explain why? Let me ask you, how could anything positive come from it?
George Bush’s lack of competency continues to astound me. Sometimes I honestly wonder if the man has any kind of common sense. This is our President, our leader. How did this happen? It is honestly sad. 2008 can’t come quickly enough. Let’s hope “World War III” doesn’t end us before then.
-John
Oil hit it’s highest price ever today. Ever! Yes, higher than post Katrina prices, higher than post 9/11 prices. Jad Mouawad of the New York Times reports:
“Oil prices smashed above $86 a barrel today as tensions in the Middle East and uncertainties about the American economy pushed prices into record territory.
Light, sweet crude futures for November delivery closed at $86.13 a barrel, up 2.9 percent, its highest nominal level since oil contracts began trading on the New York Mercantile Exchange in 1983. At these levels, oil is bridging the gap with its historic record once adjusted for inflation. In the early 1980s, oil reached about $40 a barrel, or around $100 in today’s dollars.”
My first thoughts about this are purely selfish: I’m really not looking forward to paying $5 a gallon for gas (which is where these oil prices point us). Thank god I’m close enough to school to ride my bike every day. Let’s keep in mind that in the early 80’s when oil hit that inflation adjusted historic high, gas was rationed. Living in Southern California, seeing how much people drive here, how many people commute to LA, I can’t imagine how people would cope with gas rationing. I don’t think they would, in all seriousness I could see some kind of sea change if gas rationing were to come to fruition.
While in the short term, I’m feeling selfish about this and not looking forward to paying high prices for gas, the sad truth is that this is exactly the kind of thing we need to change our long term habits. Hybrids are a good start, but at this level of oil/gas prices you have to think people are going to start demanding hydrogen powered cars, electric powered cars, better public transportation, anything. We have such a strong car culture here in the US, I bet some kind of alternative fuel for cars becomes the norm, but personally I think a great public transit system would be awesome. Look at the trains in Japan for inspiration, everybody rides them, they go everywhere, they are clean both in appearance and emissions, and they are cheap and easy to ride, not to mention fast! Last time I went there, I got to see so much more of Japan than I would have been able to otherwise in 5 days thanks to the fantastic public transit system. The US would benefit immensely from something like Japan’s system. Not only would it drastically help our planet, but how fun would it be to easily explore the US on trains?
Maybe outrage over high gas prices can help save our planet, and in the process make it a better place. Let’s hope so.
-John
Is it just me, or is John Edwards looking a lot like Kenneth the page from 30 rock these days?
Who, then in turn looks a lot like American Idol runner up Clay Aiken?
Fair, or not, I think this proves once and for all that John Edwards will never be the president. Clay Aiken couldn’t even win American Idol, in fact he lost to Ruben Studdard*, who apparently still thinks he has a music career, and is also named after a sandwich. Edwards just won’t be able to be president, another victim of American Idol collateral damage.
*Studdard was Sorry for 2004, so presumably was John Kerry. Aiken and Edwards were second in line, respectively, for both of those guys. The plot thickens…
-John
Not to turn this into the Mitt Romney blog, but watch this video, it’s pretty appalling. Mitt comes off looking like an absolute jerk. He’s asked by a sick kid in a wheelchair about medical marijuana and completely ignores his question. Forget policies, and where you stand on medical marijuana, how about showing a little bit of your humanist side? Really, way to show how much you care about people Mitt. This guy is in running to be president of the United States of America, that is frightening. Let’s put aside democrat and republican stuff for a minute, I just can’t deal with a leader of our country that treats not only our sick and defeated, but anybody, like that. Ignoring people’s voices is not how democracy works. I’d rather eat shards of glass than have Mitt Romney be president.
-John
"It has come to my attention that your site and it's very existence is putting a strain on all that is good in our universe."
-Unspecified James
And when we inevitably break all that is good in the universe, sorry.
Pay the piper.
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