The man with the voice of a baritone angel, eyes deeper and bluer than the most remote part of the Arctic Ocean, and the mustache of an adolescent Tom Sellick, is dead at age 73.
Robert Goulet, who marshaled his dark good looks and thundering baritone voice to play a dashing Lancelot in the original “Camelot” in 1960, then went on to a wide-ranging career as a singer and actor, winning a Tony, a Grammy and an Emmy, died today. He was 73.
The singer died in a Los Angeles hospital while awaiting a lung transplant, a Goulet spokesman said in an e-mail, according to the Associated Press
…
After the “Camelot” triumph, Mr. Goulet was called the next great matinee idol. Judy Garland described him as a living 8-by-10 glossy. He was swamped with offers to do movies, television shows and nightclub engagements. Few articles failed to mention his bedroom blue eyes, and many female fans tossed him room keys during performances. His hit song from the show, “If Ever I Would Leave You,” remains a romantic standard.
“Something in his voice evokes old times and romance,” Alex Witchel wrote in the New York Times Magazine in 1993. “He makes you remember corsages.”
Let’s talk about those quotes for a minute. Judy Garland said he was like a living 8″x 10″ glossy photo. What in the world does that mean? He is shinier than average? Alex Witchel says that Goulet reminds you of corsages. What? Is that a compliment, or just like a random item that guy came up with? Personally, Goulet reminds me of cookie jars. You can tell the people that cared the most about Goulet and were quoted, were in the same bizarre Goulet world.
It’s sad to see him go though, what a character. I always felt like he would be a good candidate for those old Apple “Think Different” ads. Not to mention he is responsible for the best Will Farrell SNL skit ever:
It’s not what you think unfortunately, I have nothing to report on either Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars.
Instead, it’s (arguably) the next best kind of fantasy: Fantasy Basketball!
Fantasy sports is a really weird concept if you think about it, you pick real players for your fake team, which is judged in your fake standings by your chosen players real world performances. Now that is juxtaposition for you.
Not to mention, unless you are playing for money (which I’m not), fantasy sports are completely pointless. I spend enough time religiously studying the NBA every day, do I really need to spend more time on the subject? If you consider the 2+hours it took me last night to put my team together, and the 30+ minutes I spent tweaking it today, the answer is apparently a resounding yes.
So here is my team, the Cobra Kai Dojo, named after the evil enemy dojo in the Karate Kid because I felt like if I were to be evil and mean I could possibly have an edge. Then I remembered that this is a fake basketball team that exists solely on the internet. I had 36 million dollars to spend on 2 guards, 2 forwards, a center, and a 6th man of any position.
Jameer Nelson, $4.8 million - I originally had Randy Foye here, who is a good pick too, but I learned today he will be out for a few weeks to start the season. So I sold Foye and picked up Jameer Nelson. Nelson has always kind of underachieved, he’s been a serviceable starter but never quite reached the potential he showed in college. This year however he has a couple new things going for him. One, he is in the last year of his contract this year and will be playing for a bigger payday this season. Don’t ever underestimate the motivational power of money. Two, now he doesn’t only have Dwight Howard to dump off passes to, but also Rashard Lewis, both of whom are formidable offensive weapons and are both playing to show they earned their new contracts/contract extensions this year. I think Nelson will have a huge year, and I will reap the benefits.
Juan Carlos Navarro, $2.75 million - He is something of a question mark here, as he is a rookie, but I have a good feeling about him. Navarro is 27, he knows how to play the game, and has been one of Europe’s best players for years now. Plus he is playing alongside his Spanish National Team teammate, Pau Gasol, and that has to be fun and beneficial for both of them. Look for him to get more minutes as the year goes on and Mike Conley Jr’s inexperience starts to hurt the Grizz. I think Conley will be great, but just not yet.
Gerald Wallace, $8.9 Million - Wallace is an easy pick, as he just absolutely fills up the stat sheet. He was the first player I bought. People argue that his stats could go down this year playing alongside Jason Richardson, but I honestly think it will make life easier for him, as now defenses have somebody else to focus on. Wallace is just your textbook fantasy stud, and the Cobra Kai Dojo plans on riding him to victory.
Andrew Bargnani, $5.7 Million - I had a hard time picking here between Bargnani, Drew Gooden, and Steven Jackson. I remembered Steven Jackson will be suspended for the first 7 games of the season (who really knows what for at this point, something involving a strip club and a gun) and was able to eliminate him. Not to mention I don’t think I could justify having a guy on my team who has a tattoo of praying hands holding a gun. Oh, the juxtaposition!* I think Drew Gooden is going to have a good season, as it doesn’t look like the Cavs are going to end up re-signing Anderson Varajao, which means extended minutes, and presumably extended rebouns, for Gooden. Also, he shaved off that mysterious rat tail/afro patch of hair he had on the back of his neck. That had to simultaneously be the most hideous yet glorious hair style ever to grace somebody’s head. Juxtaposition! Bottom line, Bargnini has looked great in the preseason, his upside won me over. I don’t think I can, in good conscience, pass up a chance at the second coming of Dirk Nowitzki.
*Which seems to be one of my many themes of this entry. Another one being: the subsequent downfall to our society due to the widespread purveyance of purely capitalistic values, but you have to do a little more digging to find that one. Also, I like the NBA.
Dwight Howard, $10 Million - Another easy pick. I like spending big money on centers, as they tend to have great field goal percentage, as well as piling up all kinds of points and rebounds AND blocks. All four of which Howard is among the best at. I think this year could be the year he is mentioned in MVP talks, he looked just filthily good in the preseason, and he seems to have improved his free throw shooting a lot. Orlando’s addition of Rashard Lewis will prevent defenses from collapsing in on him too much as well. Mark my words, Dwight Howard is going to be amazing this year. I guarantee it. That said, I had a hard time picking between Yao Ming and Howard here. Yao may be slightly more productive, but Howard has a much higher ceiling and is much younger. Yao is also injury prone and Houston has a lot more weapons than Orlando.
Joel Przybilla, $2.1 Million - I am pretty much required to have a Blazer on my team right? I could have picked Joel Przybilla for reason other than that and I would have been happy. That said, $2.1 million for a starting center is ridiculously inexpensive. He is at that price point because, let’s be honest, Joel had a terrible year last year. In the preseason though, he looked great, including both a much improved jump shot and free throw stroke. Greg Oden’s knee injury also means Joel’s role will be large, LaMarcus Aldrige can’t get all the rebounds. I expect Joel to average around 10 points and 10 rebounds, which is absurd for $2.1 million. I think Joel is a great deep sleeper pick. I’m talking about like Lunesta-level sleeper. You heard it here first, which means months from now I will be regarded as a visionary.
So there you have it, the Cobra Kai Dojo, your future SportingNews.com Fantasy Basketball Champion. It’s free to play, and obviously lots of fun as you can tell from this essay. Why not sign up? Hurry though before too many (or any) games have gone by.
By the by, the first Blazer game is tonight against the Spurs! AND it’s nationally televised, which means I can enjoy it here in Orange County. I have class but I will be recording it for sure. I’m thinking upset…
It’s only 3 pounds and 999 dollars too! That thing is a monster, but it’s perfect for any aspiring Michael Scofields out there. Now you just need to sneak it into prison…
Some of my favorite tools on this thing are:
A Reamer, which is a tool for scraping stuff off the inside of pipes, but sounds way more intense than that.
Special Key, it’s special, it must be important.
Laser Pointer with 300 foot range. Pretty much anything involving lasers is ok by me
Mineral Crystal Magnifier, I have no clue what that is, but it sounds useful.
Telescopic Pointe, because you never know when you will need to do some long distance pointing.
Metal Saw, which I can only assume is a saw for cutting metal. This is the second best kind of saw behind a bone saw.*
Bottom line, this thing is way too big to ever be useful, and I don’t think they will sell a lot at $999 but there is no denying how awesome it is. And how awesome you are if you actually carry it around in your pocket.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were are a huge part of my life growing up. I watched the cartoons religiously. I amassed as many of the toys as possible. I probably thought about the Turtles more than anything else from the ages of 3-11. The Turtles never had a shortage of various evil doers to fight. Just a regular burglar or bank robber is not something that concerns the Turtles, not to mention it would make terrible TV, they wait for the real personalities to come out and mess around. In retrospect, this is one of the strongest points of the Turtles cartoon show, the breadth and variety of all of their enemies. Heres a list of the top 10 most awesome enemies to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This is a very scientific and irrefutable list, I compiled it from years of research and revolving my life around the Turtles, literally.
10. Barney Stockman - Baxter Stockman was the scientist who invented mousers and later got turned into a fly by Shredder. He also spent most of the series trapped in some dimensional rift between Dimension X and Earth with only his computer. I think that is the only time extensive Second Life playing is acceptable, because let’s face it, you are stuck a dimensional rift your first life is kind of lame. Anyway, Barney Stockman was Baxter’s less successful twin brother. He looked pretty much exactly like Baxter (before he got turned into a fly), yet he absolutely hated it when people confused him for Baxter. It seems like you would get a different haircut or something to differentiate yourself if you hate it that much. Barney’s particular brand of evil was a machine that he built for the crime boss Pinky McFingers that makes things seem much much funnier than they actually were. In fact it makes things so funny that you can’t stop laughing and thus are helpless. First of all, that is the least destructive weapon I have ever heard of, second it just seems like way too much effort to disable someone. You could just hit them on the head with a fish bat or something. It is very apparent why Barney was so much less successful than Baxter, if the rest of his inventions were anything like this, they were terrible.
9. General Traag - General Traag is the general of Krang’s Rock Soldier Army in Dimension X. General Traag is made completely out of rock, yet he still wears a helmet and boots. If I were completely made out of rock I would really just leave those at home. They are completely worthless to him. The utility belt though, I will give him. That is just useful. As well, if you are made completely out of rock and don’t wear pants, where else will you keep your blaster if not on your utility belt? General Traag stayed loyal to Krang after Krang was exiled from Dimension X, which never really worked out for him. Krang was always promising to bring General Traag and his Rock Soldiers into our world, but he NEVER did it. Granted, sometimes his plots were thwarted, hell sometimes the portal would reverse itself and end instead up pulling the Technodrome BACK into Dimension X! So Krang can’t be fully blamed, but General Traag really should have examined his loyalties, Krang just wasn’t nice or a good leader. The important thing to remember though about General Traag was that he was COMPLETELY made out of rock, which makes him pretty awesome in my book.
8. Wingnut & Screwloose - Wingnut & Screwloose are aliens from another planet who brainwash children in an effort to take over the world. They are like a far superior version of the Pied Piper, who didn’t use brainwashing, just a lame jazz flute. Real men use brainwashing! As well, I don’t know how brainwashing children would allow you to take over the world, but I digress. Wingnut is really pretty hideous, terribly clumsy, always chews on his tongue, and I fear that he is probably retarded, or at least borderline retarded. Something Wingnut does have going for him though, is his awesome cyborg bat wings, which are plasma powered! Come to think of it, he also has a bat utility belt. So not only is Wingnut stealing ideas from the Pied Piper, but also Batman? Add no originality to his list of flows. Plasma powered bat wings though, are something I could really use. Screwloose on the other hand is a tiny little yellow insect thing who sometimes carries Wingnut. Screwloose’s mental prowess more than made up for Wingnut’s general lack of it. A match made in heaven!
7. Ghengis Frog - Ghengis Frog was a member of the Punk Frogs, who were 4 mutated frogs. The Frogs eventually became friends of the Turtles, but before they saw the light they did some freelance work for Shredder and Krang. At first glance they seem just like the Turtles, but frogs, however at second glance, you realize how wrong that is. First of all, these frogs have no Splinter figure to teach them the arts of Ninjutsu. Second, other there are no enemies on the scale of Shredder or Krang in the Florida swamps, where the Punk Frogs reside. Sure there is Leatherhead, but the Frogs just don’t have to do all that much fighting. Basically they are just sarcastic, man sized, frogs. Presumably to make up for their lack of Ninja skills, the Frogs have more intense weapons than the Turtles. What sets Ghengis Frog apart from the rest was his weapon, it was an axe which, if you have seen the Shining you will agree with me, is really really hard core. Napoleon Bonafrog had a whip, which is cool in an Indiana Jones sort of way, but is no Axe. Rasputin the Mad Frog had a bow and arrow, which is basically the poor man’s crossbow, definitely not in the same league as an axe. Attila the Frog had a mace. Yes, a mace, just like the Dark Lord Suaron, and as we all know being like Sauron is unacceptable. Ghengis Frog by far had the most superior weapon of the Punk Frogs. Ghengis Frog also had a pretty sharp sense of style. He had some multicolored wrist bands that matched his multicolored shorts. He had a blue shirt with lightning bolts that he never buttoned. He even took a page out of Mr. T’s book and had about 20 pounds of gold necklaces.
6. Muckman and Joe Eyeball - These guys were two garbage men that got mutated with garbage, and really couldn’t catch a break. I sort of feel bad for them, they got the short end of the stick all around. First, that’s got to be the worst thing to get mutated with ever, garbage. Second, they got mutated into really terrible things. Mondo Gecko got to be a cool skateboarding gecko. Ray Fillet got to be a majestic manta ray. Muckman, true to his name looked like a pile of unspecified muck. Joe Eyeball was a weird alien looking midget thing. That’s right, not only did he get mutated into an alien looking thing, but to add insult to injury he also became midget sized. Joe Eyeball does however have the best name I have probably ever heard. It blows the TMNT crime boss Pinky McFingers right out of the water. Third, since they got mutated with garbage, they obviously emitted radiation, which rendered the Turtles (and presumably any other mutants mutated with mutagen)* helpless, making it so they could never be friends with any other mutants. They couldn’t hang out with other people who are different like them, a là X-Men. Seriously, Muckman and Joe Eyeball were pretty tragic characters. They are also pretty awesome characters. These guys weren’t Turtle enemies for long, April convinced them to hate Shredder instead, but they are far too awesome to leave off this list.
*Yes, I managed to use 3 words from the root word “mutant” in the same sentence, and almost in a row.
5. Shredder - Shredder needs no introduction. Also known as Oroku Saki, he is the Turtles arch nemesis. Shredder is supposedly a really awesome ninja, and was an old rival of Splinter’s, before Splinter became a rat, but Shredder NEVER does any martial arts, or even anything remotely ninja-ey. Somebody explain that, please. Shredder also has a blade fetish I think. He wears blades all over his body. He has football pads covered in blades to protect his shoulders. His shins and forearms are also protected, yet his upper arms and thigh area is not. Nor is his torso. If I were Shredder, I would opt for fuller coverage. Strangely, he has no blades on his helmet. That helmet would not breathe well either, I would guess. His mouth and nose are covered in metal! And the purple cape really serves no purpose, and would probably impede him if he ever actually did some ninja moves. Shredder also wears a belt that holds up nothing. What I am getting at here, is that Shredder’s outfit is really poorly designed, and terrible for fighting. Honestly, why have blades if you are never going to do any close combat? All he does is use some type of Star Wars-ish blaster when it comes to actual fighting. Shredder has to take orders from Krang, and their relationship really seems pretty strained. I’m not sure why Shredder works for Krang anyway, especially since it seems like he hates him so much.** To be honest, I think he uses him for his money. Krang seems to have endless funds, and Shredder couldn’t afford things like the Technodrome, which is about the size of Angel Stadium. Technodromes and robot Foot Clan warriors cost money.
**Not that Shredder seems to like anybody anyway.
4. Mutagen Man - Mutagen Man was a delivery guy who unfortunately fell into a vat of mutagen. Vats of mutagen are hard to come by anyway, and then to fall into one is just terrible luck. Mutagen Man has it about as bad off as Muckman.*** He is basically arms and legs attached to some type of tank, with his organs and face and stuff floating around in it. There is a bunch of other inexplicable stuff floating around in it. Let me ask you this, who is putting foreign objects into Mutagen Man just to fuck with him? It’s cruel. He also lives on mutagen. No substitutions, he will die without it, which is why he works for Krang and Shredder. He’s like a junkie with a heart of gold. He does all this sketchy stuff so he can get his fix, but deep down inside he knows it is wrong, which is commendable I guess. That also makes him just about the most complex character ever involved with the Turtles. Normally, I would feel as bad for Mutagen Man as I do for Muckman, but I don’t, and here is why: One, he can shapeshift into ANYONE! That, invisibility, and mind reading are the most useful superpowers if you ask me. Second, the Turtles eventually saved him from Krang and Shredder, cured him and permanently turned him into a hot piece of man meat to boot. And third, before he was mutated, Mutagen Man’s name was Seymour Guts. As Mutagen Man, you could always see his guts, definitely some foreshadowing going on there. With a name like that though, you are pretty much asking to fall into a vat of mutagen and get turned into some type of glorified fish tank, then be forced into slavery by a former (I can only assume, as he never does ANY ninja stuff) ninja, and a brain with a face. Seriously, you are asking for it.
***Which begs the question, why is Muckman one word, and Mutagen Man is two words? Also, do mutants come up with their own name once they become mutated, or who is the genius behind these adjective filled names?
3. Leatherhead - Leatherhead is really one of the most awesome Turtle enemies ever. He started out as a regular giant alligator but as always, Krang and Shredder are responsible for him becoming mutated. Krang and Shredder were doing some kind of experiments in “the Everglades” in Florida and polluted Leatherhead’s swamp, turning him into such an awesome thing. Leatherhead wears a fishing vest, a beat up hat, a utility belt with a lobster and a bear trap, and inexplicably waders. Not only does he not need waders because he is an alligator, but also his waders are oddly tight, which show off his very curvaceous legs. It is apparent that Leatherhead works out. Leatherhead wears really tattered cuffs, which again serve no purpose but make him look that much more rugged. Let’s be honest, if you lived in a swamp, you too would wear some tattered cuffs just to complete the look. I however have no explanation for the lobster and bear trap on his utility belt. I don’t think there are many bears, or lobsters, in swamps in Florida. Leatherhead absolutely hated the Punk Frogs, Genghis Frog’s group, and was always hunting them. Leatherhead even had the gumption to come hunt the Turtles in their own sewer. I guess he an insatiable thirst for reptile blood, which kind of makes him seem a little bit cannibal-ey. At one point Shredder hired Leatherhead, the Rat King, Slash, Tempestra, Anthrax, Scumbag, AND Chrome Dome to hunt the Turtles. Even that supergroup of TMNT enemies couldn’t stop our Turtles though. That crew was like Velvet Revolver or Audioslave, it looked like a good idea on paper, but the sum of it’s parts just didn’t add up.
Far and away the coolest thing about Leatherhead was his Cajun accent. He peppered his sentences with liberal use of “I guarantee”, “you betcha”, and his catchphrase “by gumbo”. I only lament that there was no mention of Jambalaya, but I see why not because it sometimes is made with alligator meat. Yes, Leatherhead talked like I imagine Tom Wingo’s dad in the Prince of Tides would have talked.**** Leatherhead had the voice of Southern shrimper, the body of an alligator, the legs of a marathon runner, and a bear trap and a lobster always on hand dangling from his belt. Let me ask you this, can you think of anything more excellent? I know I can’t.
****I’m talking about imagining because I have only read the book. I never saw the 1991 Nick Nolte vehicle.
2. The Rat King - The Rat King was a human that lived in the sewers for some reason. He basically looks like a homeless man’s homeless man. He doesn’t wear tattered clothes, he wears a brown jumpsuit and rags and bandages. Not to mention the fact that he lives in the sewers instead of on the street corner and his best friends are rats. Under the surface though, the Rat King has a lot more going on. He seems pretty darn smart, like maybe he used to be some kind of genius scientist who’s obsession with rats got the best of him. Like Wingnut and Screwloose he was like the Pied Piper, but instead of mind control he used a flute, and instead of children, he hypnotized rats. He even hypnotized Splinter once and made him attack the Turtles. That has got to be some Ron Burgundy level flute playing. I won’t lie, if he can hypnotize people, the Rat King obviously has some skill on the flute. Besides his hypnosis powers, the Rat King was really really strong. At one point he wrestled Leatherhead, and won! Leatherhead is a giant alligator with beautifully toned legs, you know he is strong, but the Rat King is stronger. In case you couldn’t tell by his name, the Rat King was totally obsessed with rats, so much so that he wanted to start his own government consisting of rats and founded on the premise that rodents are superior to all other life forms. He conveniently dubbed himself an “Honorary Rat”, so he too could be a part of this rat utopia.***** The Rat King wasn’t always bad though, once he even helped the Turtles rescue April from Shredder. He was like a drifter during the Great Depression, his loyalty lied with whoever had money, or rat food, or whatever you would use to pay a homeless dude obsessed with rats living in the sewers.
*****Which for whatever reason seems like it would be communist.
1. Krang - Krang is a brain with a face and tentacles that he uses as arms. He used to be really important in Dimension X, but he got exiled and his body got taken away, reducing him to rolling around on some kind of rolling tripod, constantly whining to Shredder to make him a new body. Krang also had a really weird voice. Shredder****** eventually made Krang a new body, but for some reason he has Krang positioned in the stomach, which makes no sense. Let me ask you this, shouldn’t he be in the head? The body Shredder built was bald and wore sunglasses, making him look a little bit like a weird, angrier******* Bruce Willis. Shredder did give Krang’s new body matching red shoes and gloves, to go with it’s red briefs. Also, apparently taking cues from his own outfit, Shredder gave Krang’s new body football shoulder pads, although this time they are attached to metal suspenders. The body had some really cool features too, for instance the hands could spin around and turn into scissors, and he could turn his arms into wings if need be. One time his body grew to massive proportions, and it made Krang grow with it!
Krang was pure evil, but he was really held back by the fact he was just a brain. He had to rely too much on the incompetence of Shredder and Bebop and Rocksteady. Krang also seemed to have a lot of money, like Bill Gates type money. Instead of spending it on charities and software development though, he spent it on mutant development, the Technodrome, and the never ending quest to bring his Rock Army from Dimension X to our world. Krang eventually found his way back to Dimension X, making him extremely happy, which to me is a good thing. He was too stressed out in our world. I think he could be much more at peace with himself back in Dimension X.
******Shredder is supposed to be a Ninja, where did he get versed in such complex technologies as building robotic bodies?
*******Even angrier than Bruce Willis in Live Free or Die Hard.
EDIT: Upon further research it turns out that Krang did not buy the Technodrome. He stole it from it’s original creator Drakus. Drakus presumably did not have keyless entry and an alarm installed yet.
So there you have, my very scientific ordered list of the awesome and excellence of the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Eastman and Laird, I will forever consider you some of the brightest visionaries of our time, and I thank you every day for creating the Turtles and the awesome enemies they save the world from.-John
The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.
And if that’s not enough, pert breasts are also mentioned. If that doesn’t sound like a good read to you, I don’t know what to tell you.
As I bask in the glory of Oregon’s victory over USC earlier, and let my body silently fight off last night’s hangover, I’m watching the Blair Witch Project on TV right now, presumably Halloween is an excuse to show it. Really though, there is no excuse for me to be watching it. I can’t believe we all thought it was so scary when it came out, it is pretty terrible and not scary.
Something occurred to me about this movie. They are supposed to be filming a documentary about a witch, but had they gotten to finish it, it would have been the worst documentary ever. The camera work was absolutely terrible. It was ridiculously shaky and made it seemed like they decided to go witch hunting during the world’s longest earthquake. They were shooting on some shitty Handy Cam-ish cameras, which also added to the terrible experience. AND they were using the built in mics on the cameras. This was seriously going to be the worst looking and sounding documentary ever.
As well, I never saw it, but The Blair Witch Project 2 had to be one of the most ill advised sequels ever.
I didn’t think it was possible, but I found something scarier than that werewolf costume. It’s beyond frightening to think about how much creeping around and secret stuff our government does, and it turns out they do a lot of it. According to our government, there are more than 755,000 possible terrorists in the US. Yep, more than 755,000 people somehow ended up on the terrorist watch list.
WASHINGTON — The government’s terrorist watch list has swelled to more than 755,000 names, according to a new government report that has raised worries about the list’s effectiveness.
The size of the list, typically used to check people entering the country through land border crossings, airports and sea ports, has been growing by 200,000 names a year since 2004. Some lawmakers, security experts and civil rights advocates warn that it will become useless if it includes too many people.
“It undermines the authority of the list,” says Lisa Graves of the Center for National Security Studies. “There’s just no rational, reasonable estimate that there’s anywhere close to that many suspected terrorists.”
We live in such a culture of fear. It’s absurd. I can only imagine what little you have to do to get on this list. Coming back into the US and getting on a plane after Semester at Sea last year, I forgot I had a lighter I bought in Vietnam in my carry on baggage. The X-Ray machine picked it up and there was a mini ordeal. It was understandable though, I just explained I forgot about it. They made me throw out the innards of the lighter, I got to keep the case, which was the cool part. I felt like they handled it well at the airport, but was that enough to get me on the terrorist watch list? Am I being monitored? Do they listen in on my calls and keep an eye on my internet usage? That is seriously frightening.
And the more people get on the list, the more useless it becomes, and the harder it becomes to figure out who to actually track. Are people really monitoring all 755,000 people all the time? Maybe they are, which is even scarier. Also, keep in mind this is only people in the US, imagine how many more people outside of the US our government has their eye on. It’s just really scary
At this rate, around this time next year we will pass 1,000,000. A million!
I’m sorry, but that is just wayyy too scary. That’s the kind of thing that could seriously scar a child. Imagine if you saw this thing lurking about when you were out trick or treating back in the day. I don’t know what I would do, but I would probably think it was a real werewolf, and I can’t think of anything much more frightening than that. The thought it could be Professor Lupin doesn’t make me any less scared, because as we know he couldn’t control himself when he was a wolf, unless he drank his potion, which in the real world doesn’t exist. So if I saw this werewolf while I was out I would immediately know he was not on the potion, and thus wild and dangerous. I guess werewolves don’t exist either, but I digress. Bottom line is, that thing is way too scary. If you actually make this for Halloween this year, I will never let my future children hang around you, because you are a creep.
Apparently the internet can substitute for a significant other these days. If we are going by that definition I must be really popular with the ladies. Seriously though, my time spent on the internet (fine, and playing Warcraft III) is probably comparable to time I would spend with a girlfriend. I guess that’s what happens when you are single. Anne Dujmovic of C|Net reports:
“A new poll shows that nearly 1 in 4 Americans say the Internet could be a stand-in for a significant other for a period of time. Among singles, the percentage was even higher: 31 percent. (One wonders how popular such responses as “reading a good book” or “playing with my cats” were to the question of substitutes.)
The poll examined people’s attitudes about the Internet. Results of the online survey, conducted by Zogby International and 463 Communications, were released Wednesday.
The survey also found that there are people willing to have a device implanted in their brain–safely, of course–so they’d have ready access to the Internet. About 11 percent of respondents said so. But more men (17 percent) than women (7 percent) did. (Just think, you could impress many a date and your trivia team would win every week. Although when the suitably impressed person becomes a steady thing, the Internet might get jealous.)
…
The self-esteem of Hollywood hotties is safe for now. Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson and Patrick Dempsey are considered sexier than the iPhone, according to the poll. Respondents were asked who or what was sexier. Berry came in at 27 percent, Johansson had 17 percent and Dempsey got 14 percent. The iPhone tied with Derek Jeter at 6 percent.”
I’ve often felt that the iPhone was about as sexy as Derek Jeter. And sadly, I would probably be one of those people that would have a chip implanted in their brain for instant internet access. All I would need is Wikipedia, even if people would always be telling me I didn’t count as a real source.
This is not a flier for a lost dog, it’s a flier for an awesome dog. Which in itself is unbelievably awesome. From Flickr user sugarfreak:
Please note he is named after the Persian god-king Xerxes, who I’m pretty sure was a transvestite in 300. This has to be the best thing I have seen all week. Something to laugh about while California is in flames.
