Mike Rice’s Senile Comment of the Game: 1/9
***Disclaimer: In all honesty, I do not actually think that Mike Rice is senile. He is certainly smarter than I am, and may in fact be a genius for slipping such subtle innuendo completely uncensored into NBA broadcasts.***
Once again, this is probably lost on regular people, but those of us afflicted with Blazermania should know exactly what I’m talking about.
The Blazers beat the Warriors emphatically tonight. And when I say emphatically I mean it, Taurean Green actually got some playing time. Presumably, Stephen Jackson’s tattoo of praying hands holding a gun didn’t catch the ear of any almighty being, nor was it’s aim true. (If I were God, I’d ignore any prayers coming from hands holding a gun, despite the risk of getting shot but those very same hands.) 
Jackson could have at least done a little better, as he is on my fantasy team. 4 points isn’t cutting the mustard, I’m trading him tonight, but that’s another story.
Tonight’s gem by Mike Rice was particularly excellent, and was certainly helped by Mike Barrett, who sometimes seems to agree with me about Mike Rice’s possible senility and certain awesomeness. The exchange went like this:
MIKE RICE: “How do you like my sporty look?” (He points to his plaid shirt that consists of a variety of shades of brown.)
MIKE BARRETT: “It’s nice, I think you get a free bowl of soup with that.”
Unfortunately, the shot cut back to the game before it occurred to Mike Rice that Mike Barrett was saying that that shirt makes him look akin to a hobo, but that moment had to have strained their friendship. And then that’s where homelessness ends and professionalism begins.
As I never got around to writing Mike Rice’s Senile Comment of the Game last game, you get a bonus Senile Comment tonight. Senile Comment of the Game #2 came later after Mike Rice kept referring to some inside joke between him and whoever might be lucky enough to have inside jokes with Mike Rice and just kept taking it further and further, really where most men wouldn’t dare to go, before he had nothing left to say except:
“It looks like his elbow is sore, but does a camera guy need an elbow?”
The answer to that is yes, absolutely yes. I would argue that camera guys need elbows more so than anyone else, with the possible exception of surgeons.
Don’t change Mike Rice, don’t ever change.
-John
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